I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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