she woke up with a sticky ear
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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