my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
