take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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