Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
