could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Rumble strips road head = magical
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
