I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize