If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
