I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
