You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
