I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
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