Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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