i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
