Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
