Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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