Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
