So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
