in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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