I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
