oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
