Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
