You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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