I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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