hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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