Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize