Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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