real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you didnt know i had herpes?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
