first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
