Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Send help, water and tortillas.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
