if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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