Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
