It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
