dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
