so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize