If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
