Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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