Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
