Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
