she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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