So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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