If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We got so high we made milksteak
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
