she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
