a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
