Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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