i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
