No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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