Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
