Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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