they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
