I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
