I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
