Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
