He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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