He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
