Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize