I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize