overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We are all done wearing pants today
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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