I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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