my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
